So, I haven't blogged in a while, and to be honest - the last few weeks were when I needed to the most. From the second I got home from school, I sunk down into one of the deepest lows that I have ever experienced in my life. I wasn't myself, and everybody noticed. I fought with everyone, and I pushed a lot of people away. I embarassed myself a dozen times, and I just was not happy. Maybe it was because I hyped up summer break, so much, when I was at school, and, sitting here typing this in July, I'm realizing that it hasn't been the "summer of a lifetime" that I thought so hard it was going to be. Yes, there have been some fun times, but I have been so caught up on the whole "this summer could be way better" vibe, I haven't had time to sit back and enjoy it.
Earlier this week, I got a phone call. It was just an ordinary phone call from a good friend of mine, telling me some good news that she received. It was that phone call that brought me back up. I'm now myself again, and I love it. I'm walking around with a smile on my face, my head held high, and my chin up (as everyone should). However, as if the world has a sick plan to bring me back down - nothing is going right. As soon as I got out of the mood, everyone around me started to fall into one. Now, instead of focusing my energy on trying to get back up to where I was, I have to be there for my friends (and family) and make sure they're okay. If I don't do this, I will sink right back down with them. This summer, I've been slacking on my whole principle of helping others and putting them before me because I've been so down lately. Now that I'm feeling much better, it's going into full force. I feel that everybody deserves to be the happiest they can be, and I want them to be able to look back on this in the future and come to me so I can help. I love to help. I love people. I love when they're happy.
I'm slowly starting to become more comfortable in my own skin. I never thought I would type those words and mean them. I'm learning that the people who are in my life, love me for me, and not the way I look. I'll never be 100% satisfied, hell, I'll never even be 50% satisfied, but I'm making a little bit of progress. I guess that's all that counts.
